Time is just cruising along, isn't it?

The Animalia has started to be particular with who's holding her. She makes concerned faces whenever she's not with me, her Da, her nana or her big potato (tata). She doesn't seem to like people wearing hats or sunglasses. Our old dog Christmas was like that, but he was racist as well, so let's not compare the two.

The last couple of days she's started to make raspberry sounds. This involves lots of spit on her part and laughter on ours. I actually think she's mimicking her farts. Seriously. She makes the sound with her butt then makes it with her mouth. My daughter is pretty talented, no? The nicest thing is that lately, whenever I see her on my lunch break, she smiles and gets all wiggly and giggly the second she sees me. She must love me after all.

Oh, and we're getting her ready for baptism at the end of February. I think it's culturally important that she's Catholic and am seriously considering actually joining a parish. I think I'll be nice enough to let her decide on God when she's ready though.

And before I forget, here's a little story from before she was born (boymagnet thought I should write it down before I forgot it):
During one of my biweekly visits to Target (that's right, I seem to shop there that much), my mom and I saw the Baby Abuelita doll. It's the most hilarious doll. It's basically a Mexican grandmother (or Latino or whatever) who sings all these songs in Spanish. So my mom says that we should get one for the Animalia, because we don't have any Nanas in our family. I tell her that she's going to be the nana now. And she's like, oh my god, that's right! I think it loses something in the telling but if you knew my mom...

Yet more proof that my daughter is brilliant

OK, so she'd been kind of trying to hold her bottle on her own but hadn't quite mastered it yet. This time, she got it down. Unfortunately, I wasn't there to see it in person. She was with her Da and I was at work. He called me and I got all mushy and excited and giggly.

According to Jimmy, she held the bottle pretty well for awhile, then it slipped out of her mouth and she just kept trying to put it back until she got it and finished her milk.

Look at the expression on her face. I can just imagine what she's thinking. "Look at me, feeding myself like a big girl. I don't need you anymore mamá. I can feed myself as long as you keep pumping."

God, I love her!!!

I'm so complicated

A note about THIS POST, which was a note about A DIFFERENT POST:

Yes, I realize that the Animalia doesn't speak anything yet. She's only 4 months old. Sheesh. Pressure.

A note about my previous post

The Animalia speaks mostly Spanish with a little English thrown in here and there. One day she'll speak Spanglish like me and then I'll really be embarassed.

So one day she'll know how to say this when her Da tries to lecture her about something:
"Papi, favor de hablar conmigo en Español. No entiendo Inglés." (Daddy, please speak with me in Spanish, I don't understand English.)

I'll laugh and Jimmy will be mad.

ay de mi

It's so hard to leave the Animalia at my mom's house. Just hard.

I saw her at lunchtime and tried to nurse her and she seemed hungry but didn't really want to eat much. She wanted to chat. I imagine that she was telling me about her day so far. It was so great. Then I ate lunch and she lunged at my food. She's getting interested in big people food now. I tried to nurse her again and she latched on and ate and ate and ate until her belly was hard and full. And then she dozed off. She kind of yelled at me when I picked her up. She wanted to cuddle and sleep and eat and just hang out and I had to come back to work.

I miss her when I'm here. I feel like I should be with her, staring at her, watching her do the entertaining things that she does.

Lame.

On a lighter note, here's the conversation I imagined this morning:
Animalia (dressed as a hobo): Mamá?
Me: Yes, baby?
Hobo Animalia: Why do you have to go to work? Why can't you just stay with me?
Me: Baby girl, I have to work so that you have a house to live in and food to eat and a nice car to cruise around in.
Hobo Animalia: Mamá, no necesito esas cosas. (I don't need those things). ¿No me dijiste que me veo tan curiosa vestida como vagabunda? (Didn't you tell me that I look so cute dressed as a hobo?)
Me: Yes, Animalia. You DO look cute dressed as a hobo. But real life hobos aren't cute.
Hobo Animalia: Oh. Really?
Me: Yes, Animalia. Really.

milking myself is such a drag

I go to the bathroom during my break. Lock myself in the handicap stall. Hear other people peeing or having the occasional bout of diarrhea or gas. Each time, I wonder what they think of my sounds and that person with a bag that's locked in the handicap, standing there, boots facing the wall. It's really just a lovely process. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it. I have to think about it, check myself out. Am I hard as a rock? Can I go a little more time before continuing the slow process of tendonitis with my $35 manual pump? How much milk do I have stored? Do I have to?

I actually like breastfeeding the Animalia. That's right, I'm a dirty hippie earth mother type deep down inside. I just feel such a sense of accomplishment. Yesterday, when siyeh commented on how sturdy she felt I did a little dance inside. It's kind of nice to be able to think "yeah, I did that. She's all huge because of me and ridiculously large chest."

dirty words

I HATE THE "WORD" VAJAYJAY.

Yeah, that stupid word that people say instead of saying vagina. Vajayjay. What the hell is that?! Vagina is not a dirty word.

Conversation that ties this in with Mi Animalia and why this is appropriate here:
Me (during diaper change): She's looking a little red down there. What do you think?
Jimmy: On her stuff?
Me: At least you said stuff and not vajayjay.

Then I start ranting about vajayjay. I don't remember what I said exactly but I just couldn't stop.

Me: Fuck it. I'm just going to get really offensive and start calling it her meat curtains.
Jimmy: That's my daughter you're talking about. Please don't.
Me: What about tiny giny? It's appropriate. I mean, she's a baby so...
Jimmy: Just don't. "Stuff" is fine.