The hunger.

Sigh. I have been lax in my blogging.

The Animalia, she likes food. She likes her own food, she likes the food of others. She likes nursing, she likes water, she likes prune juice. She eats avocados with abandon, beans, rice, miso soup, pan. She eats her own food then will stand under me with her mouth open as she begs, like a puppy, for my food. She should be in her high chair while I'm eating, but she tucks her legs under and propels herself out of it, crawling onto the tray and trying to flip herself out. Scary. So she wanders while I eat, but not far, just to where the food is.

Yesterday, she went to two different restaurants. Sushi for lunch, sushi for dinner (various plans with various people that weren't well thought out). She ate sushi rice, avocado, edamame, miso soup, the internal organs of an eggroll and more. And she didn't even throw very much on the floor either. I was proud.

Over the weekend she ate lots of beans, mashed potatos, grits, and green beans, in addition to baby food and puffs, teething biscuits and crackers. Pretty soon she won't eat baby food at all, I'm sure, because she seems to be so much more interested in feeding herself, in eating big people food, than the flavorless mush that comes in those jars. She says papa when she sees them though, smacks her lips, and occasionally insists on a taste. She knows where her jars are kept and will get one for herself if she's really hungry.

She loves her agua, drinks from sippys successfully, and recently figured out drinking from a regular grown up straw. I have to regulate it though, because she loves water so much that her giant sips leave her with water spilling out of her mouth. Cold water makes her do excited, exagerrated shivers and she makes happy sounds in the back of her throat.

The consequences her hunger has had on me? Well, I only get to eat when she's not eating or asleep, otherwise I'm spending all my time tearing her food into tiny pieces about as fast as she can chew and swallow them. Me and her Daht should probably be doing this while preparing dinner for ourselves, but well, hindsight is 20/20.

Judge me.

I'm leaving the Animalia overnight. I'm heading to a conference.

Initially I thought that I could take her, that other people would be going, that my mom would go, or that Jimmy could take time off of work. None of those things happened. Then I thought that I would have to leave her here for 3 nights (major panic) but we worked it out so that the Da would take the Animalia and meet me there for the second and third nights. So the overnight isn't really that bad, but it feels bad. She's not even a year old, not weaned yet, and I put her to bed every night of her tiny life, so I think she'll be upset and probably a little confused when I don't pick her up after work tomorrow. Or maybe it's just me giving myself an anxiety attack and she'll be fine and only miss me fleetingly.

So now, actually, I've changed my mind. Don't judge me. I'm already judging myself a-plenty.

She says...

I was chatting with a coworker about the Animalia's words the other day and it made me realize how much she actually says.

She says Mom (though it sounds like Mahm) and Dad (though that sounds like Daht). She says Tata and says Nana when she's upset at me. Almost like she's going to tell on me or something. She says bao bao bao for dogs unless she's making a barking sound. She growls when we say the word lion. She signs más when she wants more of anything, not just food. She'll sign for more if we're doing something fun and she wants to keep doing it. I think signs count as words. She says agua (a-WA) on her way into the bath. She says papa (food). Sometimes she says mapa (mama papa, means she wants to be breastfed). She pats herself when she's done something good, is happy, wants recognition for something cute. She chats incoherently with her dolls and stuffed animals when she's playing alone. She says Hi! most of the time in her very best drag queen voice, to people and on the phone which is sometimes held upside down and backward. She says Bye! but not to us, never to us. Funny isn't it?

Mmmmmm. Papas!

The Animalia loves her comida. Baby food, big people food, all of it, although soon she may be even more on big people food because she seems to like that the best. I made chicken noodle soup a few nights ago... she loved it. Last night we had dinner at a restaurant and I ordered flat enchiladas, rice, and beans... she loved that too... all of it. When we eat dinner, her Da and I, she pulls herself up in front of us and opens her mouth, like a puppy. One of her most frequently used words is papa. She tells us when she wants it, will go to the cabinet to pull it out, will make faces indicating her desire for it, and will sign when she wants more. She's become more efficient at feeding herself and, although the messy stuff is still messy, she gets most of it in her mouth. When she tries a new thing she sometimes makes a puzzled face at first but will usually end up wanting more. She just loves food. She's obviously our daughter.

Snake Eyes!

So her Da decided that the Animalia needed a more interesting nickname. He decided on "Snake Eyes." He was calling her that for about a week. Last night, changing her diaper, I called her "Snake Eyes." I usually don't. I call her Monkey, Muchachita, Animalis. But not Snake Eyes. So I finally got with the program, right? Well, apparently I was behind the curve. Now he's calling her "Cheeseburger."

Another disgusting poop story.

So the Animalia isn't having much trouble pooping anymore. I think I've said that before. But really, this is a relief because it was so scary to watch her be so uncomfortable and sometimes in pain.

A couple of days ago, she pooped this giant turd. I was changing her diaper and she kind of flipped off the dirty diaper and threw it. Hard to explain but trust me, this was entirely unpreventable. The turd rolled out and onto the ground. Oh my god. We were so panicked. I was trying to put another diaper on her while screaming "Get it! Get it!" and her Da was freaking out too, exclaiming "How am I supposed to pick that up?!" "Grab it with the diaper!" So it was hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

Later that same evening, the poop came again. Only it was softer and mushier and MORE. Shudder. I was changing that diaper too and it was all over the place, up her front, up her back, everywhere. And she decided to reach down and feel it. The horror, the horror!

It's like we have to both parents there for diaper changes anymore. To pin her down.

I am so lazy OR Sometimes I'm busy.

I haven't updated in more than a week. I feel like I'm slacking only I've felt really busy lately so maybe I was just prioritizing.

The Animalia has just been freakin' adorable lately. She cruises around, making faces at her Da, only she's not calling him Da anymore, she's started calling him something that sounds like Daht. It's pretty cute.

So she's 11 months old now. The invitations to her big ONE have been sent out, her outfit has been chosen, the menu has been planned. I can't believe we're here already. The time goes by so quickly. Sometimes when I look at her she's a tiny baby and other times, when she's being silly, making faces and randomly giggling, I see the toddler that she nearly is. It's happy and sad, watching her grow, get bigger, faster and smarter. The happy is obvious. She's so amazing to me. The sad is maybe less obvious. Pretty soon she won't be a baby. She already pushes us away when we try to kiss her or cuddle her when she's busy. And she's busy most of the time, with her dolls and her books and her random plastic containers.

A couple of days ago, she figured out how to propel herself foward in her car. She had previously mastered driving backward and seems to think this new "driving forward" thing is too hilarious. At the same time, she started to make driving sounds while on her car. She learned that from her Da. She enjoys driving herself up to the kitchen cabinets, opening them and pulling things out, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. She also likes standing on top of the seat of her car. This gives us anxiety and we run to take her down before she cracks her tiny little head on our hard tile floor.

Tiny little head. Her tiny little head isn't so tiny anymore. We had to give up her fitted, infant sized Cubs cap for an adjustable toddler size. My baby, she's growing up, the mama sobbed.