Skinny Minny

"You have to eat," Da tells Animalia, "because you're a skinny minny."
"I'm NOT A SKINNY MINNY!" she says, clearly angry. "LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE THIGHS!"
She points to her thighs. They're skinny. "Mom, do I have big thighs like my sister?"
"Yes," I tell her, trying to comfort her rage. "Your thighs are enormous."
I'm lying.

Anxiety

Teeny has major separation anxiety. She has major crying fits, big tears and all, when I'm not with her. I don't even have to be holding her. As long as she can see me and maybe reach me with her big toe, she's fine, happy, relaxed.

These crying fits are a major source of anxiety for everyone but me. Her poor dad... poor nana... eh, I don't think it bothers tata as much. When she's into a fit, there's almost nothing that can distract her for more than a breath, although being taken outside seems to help some.

It makes it that much harder to leave her, knowing that she's torturing people who love her.

Fixing it.

"Stop picking your nose," her Dad tells Animalia.
"I'm not picking it! I'm fixing it!" she replies.

Best excuse for nose picking ever.

The New Baby

The New Baby is what we're calling it. Not bean or bun or muffin or whatever food references people make about the things growing inside them. The New Baby. Like that, capitalized.

The first time we mentioned The New Baby to Animalia, we showed her the sonogram. She said, "That new baby is not coming in my house." She really cracks me up.

The last week or so, the response had been more positive. She says that we'll read to the new baby and walk her on the ceiling (because Dad walks Animalia on the ceiling) and protect the new baby. I'm sure that ceiling walking and protecting conflict a little but I don't contradict her. According to Animalia, The New Baby is a girl, not a boy, so that she can be a princess and be lovely and smart. Now that she's said that, I'm sure that The New Baby will most certainly be a boy or a tomboy and hate dresses with all the passion in the world. That's just how life is.

At 2 years and 4 months...

At two years and four months, Animalia loves:

-dolls of any shape or size.
-her dog Cooper. She calls him "Cupa Coop," "Mr. Cooper," and "Zippy." The rest of us are only allowed to call him Cooper.
-making. Also known as cooking.
-yarning. Also known as cutting with sticks. That's knitting for the rest of us.
-books, especially Ghosts in the House! by Kazuno Kohara, Art (Petit Connoisseur) by Karen Salmansohn, Princess Baby, Night-Night by Karen Katz, and In Grandma's Arms by Jayne C Shelton and Karen Katz. Also, anything Maisy, anything with princesses, anything about dragons or dinosaurs.
-making pipis and popos in the potty, not like dogs or cats. According to Animalia, they do it outside because they stink.
-her ABCs and knows them well enough to purposely replace letters in the sequence. Hilarity ensues when she sings A-B-C-D-I-O-P or a similar sequence.
-to count.
-to tuck herself into bed when it's not bedtime. Of course, she doesn't love to tuck herself in when it is bedtime.
-being funny, making jokes, being tickled and everything else related to laughter.
-drawing. "Not on the books, only on the paper."
-dancing. She especially loves dancing in the kitchen to the oldies.
-humming random tunes.
-sopita.
-being scared. There are probably few bigger thrills for her than having someone jump out and scare her. Really.
-her family. Her happiest times are spent "together, with the whole family." She especially loves it when her mama, daddy, nana and tata are all in the same place at the same time.

Directing the parent

While I was at an evening meeting...

"Daddy, I need to go poop in the potty. Right now. You need to take me." orders Animalia. So he does. Once she's finished what she needed to finish, she tells him, "Daddy. Now I need to eat dinner. Right now."

He says he felt like he was being reprimanded for coming up short as a parent. I reminded him that she's only two.

TWO! Birthday party, part 1.

Yesterday, 12:36pm, Animalia turned two. Two. TWO!!!!

We celebrated with:
A long walk to Roma Imports with Daht, Nana, and Tata, where we purchased lasagna and bread for dinner. We walked back home a different route and hit a small park and Dairy Queen for ice cream. At DQ, Animalia got a little vanilla ice cream in a cup and sat, legs crossed, like a lady to eat it. When we arrived back at Nana's house, Nina's sister was there to deliver some balloons from Nina. Animalia giggled happily when she saw them. Then she asked if they were Adelina's or Lito's. We told her no and she wandered around holding her ballons "by self" and saying that they weren't Adelina's or Lito's.
After our walk, we baked a cake (from cake mix) at Nana's house. Animalia stirred it "by self" and also said "hold the bowl so I can stir it." "Stir it" sounded like steeew it. It was cute.
After our cake baking we took her home and took naps.
After our naps, we picked up Tío Javier (Animalia now calls him Javiert) and went to the mall. Animalia got some chocolate brown Converse All Stars. Then we went to Build-A-Bear. She was given a name tag stating her name and that it was her second birthday. After loving on all of the empty shells, she chose a bear. We were asked if we wanted to add sound and pressed a few buttons with Animalia, trying them out, but we elected not to add sound after one of them said "What's up, girlfriend?" and we decided we couldn't listen to that over and over again. Animalia was scared by the stuffing machine as it was almost as loud as a vaccuum cleaner (and she hates those). She liked the beating heart, so we added one. Then she became distracted by a little red convertible. We chose a couple dresses and had her choose one. She went back to trying to climb into the little car. It was time to finish up, so she helped me press the buttons on the computer, until she became distracted by a different computer. I panicked and chose the name "Petunia" for the bear. And so it was. The birth of Petunia.
After the bear building, we went back to Nana and Tata's house for dinner with Tío and April. Animalia laughed hysterically and forcefully every time anyone said "Petunia" and played with her balloons some more and finally, when we asked whose birthday it was, answered "It's MY birthday!" We ate dinner and cake and unwrapped presents. She got clothes and a book and Robin Hood and a Tee Ball set and a baby doll that has a tuberculosis cough and comes with a play doctor set and a miniture grill along with wooden shish kebab and s'mores. She was impressed and happy. We were happy and tired.
After her small birthday party, we went home.
After we got home, we relaxed and, finally, slept.
After Animalia woke up in the morning, she asked for Petunia. And laughed.

Birthday party, part 2 will be posted sometime after her October 11 party. Pray for my sanity. Please.

I love you, Daddy!

Daddy says, "Give me a beso," and starts leaning toward Animalia. Animalia starts backing away. "Give me a kiss, " he says again, pushing his face toward hers. She's struggling slightly, trying to get away from his beard. She puts her hands up, blocking him. She shakes her head. "I love you daddy, I love you, I love you, I love you." But no kisses today.

Let the Halloween planning begin.

Yesterday afternoon, Daht calls me at work. The very disturbing conversation follows.

Daht: So. I was thinking about Halloween.
Me: What about Halloween?
Daht: Well, we could be the Warriors again. Or we could all be serial killers.
Me: I could be Lizzie Borden although I guess she wasn't a serial killer. She's recognizable though.
Daht: I could be the Nightstalker. And your brother could be someone else.
Me: He could be Charles Manson.
Daht: And we could dress Animalia up in a clown costume and paint glasses on her face. She could be John Wayne Gacy!
Me, laughing: We'll have to talk about this when we get home.

So. What say you? Is that the absolutely most scarring thing that would ruin her forever? Or are we hilarious?

Disclaimer/plea: We are mostly excellent parents. Please don't take our baby away. We DO love her very much and would never do anything to truly harm her.

Too much to drink in imaginary land.

Animalia is playing with a stack of plastic cups. She unstacks them. Then she stacks them. This is, apparently, the most hilarious thing she's done all day. The cups go with her into the living room. She takes one off the stack and puts it under the end table, as if it's a dispenser of some kind of liquid (note: we can't recall a time when she's actually been into a restaurant where drinks are dispensed this way, but it obviously made a big impression). She hands it to her Daht. "Juice," she tells him, and then, "jugo," you know, just in case he needs her translation services. He takes a big imaginary slurp. She goes through the same motions for Mama, then for Cooper. The dog doesn't even feign interest in the empty plastic cup, but she loves him at this moment so this doesn't matter. She gives us a minute to finish our delicious imaginary juice. She takes this time to drink her own imaginary juice. Then she looks around, satisfied, and makes another round. She's gathering our cups, restacking them perfectly. "That's enough," she tells everyone individually. We've been cut off.

Restraint

Daht was overwhelmed with love and had his hand on Animalia's pansa. "Kindly restrain yourself, father, as I'm trying to go to sleep," Animalia told him. Actually she said, "Daht. Your hand. Hold it with your hand." But the first thing is what she meant. I could see it in her eyes.

Help you?

2am. I wake up in pain. Back spasms. I try to stretch. Not working. 2:30am, I give. I take a muscle relaxant. Everyone else is fast asleep. I stay awake until I feel it working, then I crash.

7am. Animalia wakes up. "Maaaaamaaaaaaa, wheh aaahhhhh youuuuu?" Daht is still in bed, having stayed up late playing video games. I stumble to her camita, lift her out and into bed with me. She likes to sleep til 8, so maybe she'll fall back to sleep. I still feel the pill.

7:15am. Animalia is bouncing on and around us. We're barcos first, then horseys. Mama and Daht are still asleep.

7:30am. A tiny voice says "Mama help you?" I open one eye. Animalia is wedged in the narrow space between the wall and the bed. I can only see her from the shoulders up. She's giggling. "Mama help you?" she asks again. I manage to wake up and pull her out of the hole. She hugs and kisses. She also wants off the bed. I put her in her bedroom, immediately adjacent to our room, and she wanders away to play.

7:45am. I hear her tiny voice talking to her zapatos, putting on calcetines, talking to her dollies. Daht decides to wake up at this point. I struggle to open my eyes. He tells me that she's fine, they'll hang out together, go ahead and get some more sleep.

8:00am. Animalia has entertained herself for an hour. The struggle is over. Awake has won. "Mama help you?" is echoing in my mind. Guilt has won.

What we mean to her:

Nana means papa, coloring, dancing, libros, going to the post office, shopping for fruits and vegetables and pan, baths, owies, and good mornings. Nana drives a brown(ish) car. Nana is called Nona Nana Mana (and various combinations of these things), Nans, Nanis, Nani, Nanitas.

Tata means horsey, help watering flowers, dancing, platanos, agua con hielo, and buenos dias. Tata drives a big white truck that's good for playing in. Tata is called Tatis, Tats, Tomás No Más, Tatati, Tatitas.

Daht means drawing, upside down, tickling, jumping in the bed, parks, dogs, hiding under the water, popsicles, cookies, fighting and blankets at night. Daht is called Daddy, Dad, Dah, Jimmy, and James.

Mama means sopita, arroz, pasta, bailando, playing piano, libros, "see you later, Nana," abrazos, and mimis. Mama's car is red. Mama is called mom, mami, mum, corazón, and Maya.

Uncle (Unko) means horsey and fixing it. Unko broke it. Unko also means huggables and lounging watching TV. Unko rides a bicycle.

Popsicles: Animalia manipulates (in three parts)

Part ONE:
One evening we pulled some Otter Pops out of the freezer. Animalia, as per usual, decided that she would be sharing with her Mama. She was happy until it was over. She looked over, noticed that Daht still had some and crawled across the couch to him. Mwahhhh! Mwahhhh! Abrazos, Daht. Aya love Daht. She crawled onto his lap and happily shared his remaining pop.

Part TWO:
The following evening. Same setup. Mama's pop is gone. Daht still has some. Animalia crawls over to him. Daht Aya's friend, she says. Friends. Aya want it. Friends? Her Daht is a sucker. He shares. She shivers with frio, as she knows Daht thinks this is adorable.

Part THREE:
Third night of Otter Pops. Again, same setup. This time, Aya tells Daht she will HELP him with his pop. Aya help Daht. Aya good girl. Aya helper.

Aya knows how to work her Daht. Aya has a sweet tooth.

First name basis

I always thought it was weird when kids called their parents by their first names. I still do. It seems a little disrespectful maybe, and certainly uncomfortable, like there's some kind of unnatural distance between parent and child or some strange order in their relationship. I was so uncomfortable with it that it was even hard for me to call my friends' parents by their first names when I was a kid. I just didn't know what to call them but first names seemed crazy and Mr. or Mrs. seemed too formal for my closest friends parents.


It is probably because of my childhood discomfort with this that the Animalia is apparently on a first name basis with us, her parents. Her nana thought it was funny when she'd ask "¿Quien es Maya?" and Animalia would point to me, her mama. Her nana also thought it was funny when she'd ask "¿Quien es Jimmy?" and the Animalia would point to her daht. So now, about half of the time when she calls us she calls us by our first names. It's a week bit heartbreaking as I prefer Mama, Mom, Mommy, and Mum-- the names she used to call me. Daddy used to always be Daht, Da, Daddy-- and now he's Jimmy. Not all the time but enough for me to purse my lips and have to do my best to completely ignore it.

Nana's baby

Are you the nana's baby? The Animalia nods vigorously.

Are you the mama's baby? The Animalia nods her tiny head.

Are you the tata's baby? She shakes her head no. He lifts her up and says that of course she's his baby and she shakes her head again with a little smile on her face.

Are you da's baby? She nods once. Shakes her head back and forth once. Moves her head in a noncommittal circle.

She knows how to play all of us. Like a violin.

Meow, Melmo and Christmas

Oh Christmas! (A recap)

Christmas Eve was lovely. The Animalia and I woke up lateish (8:30am, yes, gasp, but we're used to it now) and went to pick up a deli tray and other supplies at Costco. Then we went home and did other things but I don't remember what. Then we showed up at Nana and Tata's for lots of food and family. Eventually the kids opened presents and of course the Animalia ended up with TONS of stuff including Elmo Live! the crazy Elmo robot thing that tells stories and asks to be picked up when he's tipped over, or in this case, thrown to the ground. The Animalia was puzzled when her Elmo talked and after awhile even tried to close his mouth for him. Later, he would bite me when I accidentally pushed his foot as I was carrying him out to the car. We stayed at Nana's late and came home to get some rest before the morning and more present opening.

Christmas morning we woke up late again. We immediately got to eating and opening presents. We thought we'd be back to the Nana and Tata's by 10 but the Animalia took more time to open presents than I thought she would. She liked ripping the paper OK, even did it once or twice but once she figured out that the paper contained boxes that contained THINGS FOR HER she didn't really want to finish the unwrapping and went right to trying to pick the boxes apart. This was somewhat unsuccessful, so we finished the unwrapping for her and opened the boxes. Then she had to inspect things, play with them, touch them each before she'd move on to the next thing. This was somewhat hilarious though time consuming. She got lots of awesome stuff that she seemed to like, not the least of which was a piano from Santa Claus. She doesn't play it that much but she checks in with it every single day, pounding the keys as soon as she sees it before moving onto other things. She also likes to use it as a bench and also a step stool, something we're discouraging. She also got some mice in a box that she loves to kiss, ANOTHER ELMO, this one a TMX that laughs and speaks Spanish, clothes, stacking boxes, books, etc., etc. We made it to the Nana and Tata's house for MORE PRESENTS and breakfast about half an hour late. I think they thought we weren't coming over at all because they seemed absolutely thrilled when we arrived. Anyhow, there were more presents and there was breakfast and we were all very happy. Later, we'd all have dinner together, the Animalia showing off her toys and seeming totally excited that we were all there again, at the same time, and no one was working, and she was the center of attention.

A couple of days later she started saying Melmo, very clearly, for Elmo (duh), and not Ehrmoh, like she'd been saying before. Learning language... baby steps, people. And she finally started saying MEOW for cats. She mastered "babao" months ago but "meow" was elusive and now she says it with gusto.

I hated having to work the day after Christmas and having to suppress the desire to cuddle the Animalia indefinitely but it had to happen. We did, however, get a visit from the Nina AND the Nino and the Animalia was most happy to accept even more gifts from them. The boots the Nina gave her were a hit and she insisted on me putting them on her so she could stomp proudly around the room. She also got this cutest book with her face on the baby's face inside. We were excited about that too, probably more than she was, but she was nice and read it and had me read it to her. The Nino gave her a Sock Monkey that got besitos. It was enclosed in a lovely box that had awesome stencils on it. We'll save that one for later, when her tiny hands aren't so destructive.

This Christmas was fantastic actually. It was so much fun to have Christmas with a baby in the house and decorate and have friends over and just enjoy it. It's different (cliche, I know) when there are kids to celebrate with. It was fun. We even put up Christmas lights, a first for us, and her Daht promises to make the display more elaborate as the kid grows. Funny what kids do to us, especially the most cynical of us (me, obviously).

Next, a new year.

Another word.

Last night the Animalia said "TOES!" She was actually sitting on the floor at her Da's feet and suddenly started saying Da Tooooes. The T in toes was a soft T, almost a D. And the ooooo was almost oooohhhh but not quite. It was, however, clearly toes.

It was, quite honestly, one of the cutest moments yet.

Awa! Awa! (San Diego)

The Animalia, the travelin' bean that she is, went to San Diego over the weekend. She was surprisingly good on the way there, learning to blow dramatic kisses (MMMMmmmm-muah!) and the answer to the question,"¿Como te llamas?" (ahh-YA!). She got fussy at the end of the drive, much later than we thought she would. She was tired of looking at her Tata and sitting in her chair and the boring toys she'd already seen 50 times. She was asking for her Nana. So we got to the place where we were staying, a beautiful two bedroom condo overlooking the ocean, with sliding glass doors out onto the balconies that had NO SCREENS, and a marble coffee table and a glass topped dining room table. Totally not for babies. The Animalia was thrilled though. The closets had mirrored doors and the beds were fit for rolling around. We changed our travelin' clothes and immediately headed out to eat with the Nana and the Tata and the Mama's Nina. We found a brewery. The food was great and the Animalia ate garlic mashed potatoes and yummed a bunch. We headed back to the place, pushing Animalia on the boardwalk and she was happy. Then the Tío Tío and April showed up and the Animalia was even happier. Not much else happened that first night but it was nice and the ocean was loud. We all slept soundly when we finally went to bed, around 11.

DAY TWO. Wake up early, the whole bunch dresses for breakfast at an incredible place called the Belgian Frie. Animalia has pieces of waffle with sour cream and strawberries. She is thrilled. Head back to the place and get the car and go to Sea World, the Animalia, the Mama, the Daht, Tío Tío and April. The Animalia dozes on the short drive there. She wakes up as soon as the car stops. She looks suspicious. We get into the park and immediately head to the dolphin show. She watches the dolphins with interest but still looks suspicious. We get splashed lightly. Animalia purses her lips. After that we head to the Sesame Street area. We get on this teacup type thing, Animalia's first ride. She hates it at first but cracks a smile at the very end. She's finally really awake. After that, she was happy. She loves the shark exhibit and the small aquarium. She stands at the manatee tank in awe. She waves at Elmo during the 4D Sesame Street movie. She woos appropriately at Shamu. We head home, not having done half of what we wanted to but still happy. Animalia falls asleep as soon as we hit the parking lot.

NIGHT TWO. Animalia. Napping. 2 hours. Wake up, get dressed in the most beautiful little dress, ruffle butt tights, black velvet slippers, cardigan. Animalia is going to be the ring bearer at the Tías Grandes wedding at a fancy restaurant overlooking the ocean. I was worried but it went OK. She was a little upset by the time the wedding started so I fed her cheese. She also got upset when the Tías walked down the tiny aisle without her. I think she thought they were all going for a walk. Then she seemed tired but quickly got a second wind. Photos, then dinner. The waitstaff brought her a miniature bottle of sparkling cider for the toasts. She drank it from a straw and made faces when the bubbles hit her mouth. During dinner she ate gourmet mac and cheese, pieces of fruit. Dessert was from my plate, some kind of berry icy thing that was delicious. After dinner, she kicked off her shoes and wandered around, stopping to grab different people to dance with her. She really made the rounds on the dance floor. Then around 11pm she was DONE. She was EXHAUSTED. She wanted to LEAVE. So we did and she fell asleep pretty quickly. She was great though, the entire night.


DAY THREE. She woke up early and walked down the hallway to bang on the Nana and Tata's bedroom door. She was banging on the door saying "Nana! Tata! Nanatata!" We immediately got ready and went to breakfast at this Irish pub where she ate her first teeny tiny bit of scrambled egg.
After breakfast we headed to the beach. At first, the Animalia stayed close, sitting on my towel and touching the sand cautiously. Hmmm. She was interested. After a few minutes, she realized she loved it and really threw herself into throwing sand into her little pail. One of her shovels looked more like a spoon than a shovel and she kept picking sand up with it and asking,"Papa?" We kept telling her "No es papa. No en la boca." I think she may have eaten a tiny bit anyway. After a bit we decided to take her down to the ocean. She wailed. How could we take her away from her precious sand?! We dragged her closer to the ocean. In a fit of pique she threw herself down on the sand. But this was wet sand. Oh my god. She looked at us with joy in her eyes but I could see there was a question. Why hadn't we done this sooner? Why didn't we let her play in the mud? She squished around a bit but I was determined to have her touch the water. I picked her up. Another wail. How could I show her mud and then take it away?! She was indignant. UNTIL... The water. I stood her up next to me and the water came rolling in. She laughed hysterically when it touched her tiny feet. We took her deeper. The water rolled in and peels of laughed rolled out of her as the coldish water hit her butt high. Then she acted indignant, like we'd been hiding this from her the entire time. Needless to say, the beach, the sand, the water, all hits. We will be taking her to the beach again as soon as possible.

THAT AFTERNOON/EVENING. A serious bath that didn't take all the sand out of her as I saw grains in her tiny ears later. A nap. Later we ate Thai food. The Animalia enjoyed her lovely Thai vegetable soup. We stopped at the Tías Grandes hotel room and she showed off her pink crocs. We went back to the condo, dropped her off with the Nana and the Tata and took off for an hour or so of parent time. The Animalia was ready for bed when we got back and so were we.

We left the next day and the trip back wasn't so bad either, minus the short vomiting by the Animalia. Cleaned her up and got her back in the car. I think she was happy to be home but it took a couple of days to get used to the fact that her Nana and Tata weren't just down the hall. She was asking for them as soon as she woke up in the morning.

Mama! Papa!

The scene: Yesterday, early evening. Mama working til 7pm. Daht picks the Animalia up from Nana and Tata's house.

Daht: Hi baby girl! Are you ready to go home and see Cooper?
Animalia: Mama! Papa!
Daht: Let's go home and sit in your little house and read your books!
Animalia: Nana Nana Nana! Tata Tata Tata!

He told me later that he knew he'd have to play with her a whole lot as soon as she got home to distract her. So they played, laying around on the living room floor, probably looking for her pansa or his pansa or the dog's pansa. Reading books. Combing her Dora doll. And she really wasn't that fussy later when I got home and neglected her in favor of packing.

She's been a bit of a daddy's girl lately. During the worst of her cold, she'd walk to him and lay her tiny head down on his lap or climb on top of him and lay her head on his shoulder. Very endearing for all of us. The Animalia, of course she's endearing, but it also gave me warm fuzzy feelings about her Daht, just watching him be a good dad and watching her love him. These feelings, I like to stuff them deep down inside because I'm like that, but it's nice. Sigh.