Dog Days

Yesterday I was so tired I felt nauseous. I'm not exaggerating. Nauseous. Dizzy. Not processing correctly. I went for a lunchtime visit the Animalia at Nana y Tata's house and she was napping. She slept right through lunch. Part of me was disappointed since my lunchtime visits help get me through the rest of my crazy work day. The rest of me was relieved. I was so tired I didn't think I had the energy to play with her or chase her or read to her or tickle her. I just relaxed. Ate a little. Went back to work.

After work, I went home. She was already home with Daht. The nausea continued, not as strong as earlier in the day, more like background nausea. We went through our routine mostly, though after dinner, I "played" with her and read to her while laying on the couch. At one point, she asked me to "walk around the town" with her and "mama jump with Aya?" and I just couldn't get up. Daht offered but she turned him down by crying Mama, Mama! as if he were kidnapping her. I felt a little guilty, but too exhausted to do anything about it. I distracted her by asking her to bring me things, el libro de bear y dog, las chanclas, tu baby, Jack. Luckily Jack (her Jack in the Box) distracted her til almost bedtime. She hadn't played with him for awhile and she was finding him particularly hilarious, telling him, "Get in there, Jack," when the music stopped and he popped out and then "Jack jumping" while she bounced the entire thing on the couch mere inches from my head. Then we played a game called Are You? which consists of asking each other silly questions. "Are you a tickle pants?" I asked. "Are you a mama pants?" she responded.

Bedtime came soon enough. She fell asleep fairly easily. I was grateful. I went to bed early. I was almost asleep when I heard her say "Mama change the zapeta?" I groaned, got up, changed the zapeta. "Thanks, Mama, thanks," she said. Then she asked "?Es tiempo hace mimis?" "Si, es tiempo de hacer mimis," I told her. "OK!" she said, and then, out of the blue, quietly, "It's OK, mama." Then she rolled over and fell asleep. I was elated. Everyone slept comfortably and quietly through the night.

The hottest days of summer are the hardest for me. I'm swollen. I'm exhausted. My bones hurt. My hair falls out. My skin hurts. I have to take each day on it's own merits and the big picture blurs. So far so good though, as bad as all that sounds, I've been able to maintain somewhat. And though the guilt hits a little when Animalia wants me to jump with her, I have so far been able to come up with distractions. She's a good baby, that Animalia, a happy baby, and she entertains herself when necessary. She has her moments, but I'm beyond thrilled that her moments aren't really that bad. I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Nature gave me the baby I could handle.