The B-Word

It's not as bad as it sounds. In fact, it's not bad at all.

The other night, Animalia was sitting on the floor coloring. For some reason I was freezing so I was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. She looks up at me, and in her sweetest voice says, "Mommy? Will you play with me?" But I'm cold and tired. I try to make an excuse. "Play with me! Play with me!" she orders. I try to make it up to her by drawing while sitting on the couch. "No, mom! Sit with me on the floor!" Sigh. I'm gonna do it but aside from cold and tired I'm also very slow. She stands up, walks over to me, and tugs on the blanket. "Take off the B-word and sit with me!" she says, her patience gone. "B-word? What's that?" I ask her. "The blanket, mom," she says, practically rolling her eyes. And, cold, slow and tired, I do. I take off the B-word and color with her. Not because she's the boss of me. But because I was really impressed by the appropriate use of "B-word."

I told you.

Mommy?
Yes, baby?
I told you.
What did you tell me?
I told you about robot monster cows.
What did you tell me about robot monster cows?
They're not very scary at all.

Mommy?
Yes, baby?
I told you.
What did you tell me?
I told you about boys.
What did you tell me about boys?
No more boys, mom.
Is daddy a boy?
Noooooooo. He's a dad.
What's his name?
Daddy the dad.
Is Tata a boy?
No... he's Tati the tata.
Is Uncle a boy?
No... he's a buncle.

Oh Christmas Tree!

We bought a Christmas tree last night and decorated it as a family. Actually, Animalia wandered around with half a candy cane that she'd pilfered (she called it a "candy can") and got her hands all sticky, stopping occasionally to hand us an ornament and point out where it should go. She's a big helper, which is why, this year, we got some "unbreakable" ornaments. They're actually pretty and don't look plastic, which is nice. It's also nice because this year, Animalia is actually occasionally defiant. Last year, telling her not to touch something actually worked.

I'm waiting til the last minute to put presents under the tree as I'm afraid I'll walk in and she'll be surrounded by wrapping paper shreds.

A princess girl

Animalia is a princess girl. We fight with her to put on jeans or pants of any kind. She says they're "gross." No kidding. Actually says "gross." And then there's crying and pleading, mostly on her part, but sometimes on ours. In fact, once, given the option to play outside (which she loves) but with the condition that she had to wear pants, she said, "Let's watch a movie."

Advertising... yum!

Here in lovely Tucson, AZ, there's an intersection nicknamed Five Points where Stone Ave, Sixth Ave and 18th Street all meet. There are a few billboards at this intersection, one of which was recently advertising Burger King with a BIG GIANT picture of a cheeseburger.

One day, Animalia, sitting in the car at a red light with her Daht, asked him what it was. "A BIG GIANT HAMBURGER!" he said. She stored that information in her brain. A few days later, she told me that it was "A BIG GIANG HANGURBER!" and then said "Let's tell Daddy. We can eat one." That night we had turkey burgers. "Yum!" she said, "I LOVE HANGURBERS!" And everytime we passed through that intersection she'd point out the BIG GIANT HANGURBER.

Now the billboard has been replaced and she misses the Burger King ad. She says the "BIG GIANT HANGURBER went ba-bye." The Safeway billboard just isn't as appealing to tiny people with its big red bow and a billion price tags advertising new lower prices.

Good job on that ad, Burger King. Though I must say that toddlers are easy-- when she asks for hangurbers, we don't actually have to take her there. A veggie burger will still suffice.

Singing together

Animalia's latest thing is that she wants to sing together. She says "Let's sing the ABC's. Together. Ready, set, go!" And then we sing. And I'm supposed to sing a certain way. If she's singing silly, like making her voice really low, I'm supposed to do it the same way. Or we'll have to start all over again. "Ready, set, go!"

Follow the leader

The scene: Nana's backyard. I'm there during lunch time. Nana's there. Tata and Uncle are taking a break from working on a project. Animalia is playing.

She tells us all to be fishes. We be fishes, making a fin with our hands and saying glub, glub, glub.

She tells us all to flap our wings, saying flap, flap, flap.

Now jump, she says. We jump.

Now run, she says. Ready, set, go! We all watch her run a circle around the yard.

Shake your booty, she orders. We all shake.

We're doing some sort of modified toddler aerobics according to the orders of a two-year-old. I wonder what the neighbors think.