Sucker!!!

So. Yes. It's true. She likes to suck on her toes and occasionally the entire front part of her foot. It's one of those "Seriously, this is MY child?!" kind of moments for me. I don't love feet. I just don't. At the same time, her foot in her mouth is, like everything she does, one of those extraordinarily cute things that you can't imagine are cute before the kid comes then all of a sudden, you're a mom and the only thing you REALLY want to talk about is how cute your baby is.

One day my mom was talking about how cute it was when my brother would put his feet in his mouth. So during Animalia's diaper changes, she'd encourage the foot toward mouth thing. Funny thing is, when she was telling the story about my brother, I was assuming it was when he was an infant. And then my mom says something like "yeah, that was when he was 4 or 5." Sorry, Tío. I had to tell.

One of those moments

A couple of weeks ago my uncle stopped by my parents house. I was there with the Animalia and she'd fallen asleep in the uncomfortable looking way that she does, nestled against my chest. I was leaning back a little but really I was as contorted as she was but still comfortable. My uncle told me that I looked uncomfortable and asked if my back hurt. I was fine but before I could respond, my dad said, "She's fine. Moms have strong backs."

It made me a little teary. That I was a mom. That my dad made mention of my strength. That my dad was a grandfather. It felt like the most incredible compliment.

Holy, holy

So the Animalia is now a bonafide Catholic girl. Yay!

I actually didn't think it would be so exciting, but it was. We were running around like crazy the morning of: getting ready, making food, throwing the last few things in closets. Chairs and tables were borrowed, the cake was picked up. I spent late afternoon with my dress unzipped, just in case she had to eat again. Lots of craziness, like Jimmy going to get PC who ended up being dropped off by his latest um... "girlfriend." He made it back, they went to buy a ridiculous amount of beer. PC wore a cowboy suit. Nice. Boymagnet was lovely in a dress with a plunging neckline and one of my black cardigans. I wore a red sweater over a dress that was cut up to here on the sides. I actually didn't realize that part til it was a little too late to change but black tights made it not so obvious. Animalia was excited too. When boymagnet and I were putting her into her outfit (slip, lovely gown and matching bib to catch her ever present drool, socks with embroidered crosses, nurse shoes) she laughed and laughed. She wore a cross and chain from boymagnet and a bracelet from the tías grandes.

We got to the church ok and just a little later than we'd wanted to. Another baby was being baptized at the same time. Her parents were tall. TALL. Her mother was so tall, as tall as Jimmy I think, and her father was tall too, but not tall enough not to seem short next to the mother. Priest ran down the ceremony for us. Mass started. The whole ritual was really touching. We stated her name. We asked for her to be baptized. We crossed her tiny forhead with our thumbs. She stared. More mass. Then came the water pouring over her head and the oil. I thought she'd panic but she was fine. The priest said something like "I wish you could all see this baby's face." I was proud and the Animalia just stared some more. PC lit a candle. More mass. Then at the end of mass we took her to the front of the church and the priest introduced the "two newest Catholics in the world." Mass over. I have to admit a part of me did it more for tradition's sake than for the spirituality of it all but it all turned out to be very touching.

Then the party. About 70 people showed up. We had barbacoa, courtesy of an aunt, beans (mine), pasta salad (mine), guacamole (my dad), tortillas, salsa (one of my godmothers) and lots of other munchies. The cake from Le Caves was, as usual, the best cake ever. There were presents. I honestly expected a couple of religious things but mostly she got clothes and a few pairs of shoes. Her closet is full. Also, she now needs a jewelry box. In addition to the previously mentioned necklace and bracelet, she is now the proud owner of a teeny tiny diamond ring from one of Jimmy's aunts. Crazy.

The last guests left around 12:30am. Not too shabby for a party that started a full six hours before, not including mass. The Animalia was fast asleep. She was so exhausted.

I wish she knew how to give a teeny tiny high five because I have to give her loads of credit. She was just SO GOOD all day. She fussed a little in the evening but it was really nothing. She was nice and cute like she knew it was her day. Or like my mom says, "They baptized the devil out of her."

And now...

She's scared of people walking toward her and Oprah.

The nana and big potato took her for a walk yesterday and everytime someone was walking toward her stroller she'd do her crying thing.

Today, my mom was watching Oprah and everytime my dad walked her into the room she'd crane her head toward the TV and cry.

Note: she's not allowed to actually watch TV.

Teeny people

Yesterday my cousin's little boy's (yes, that makes him my cousin) daycare was closed and he stayed with my mom. Animalia and I went over to visit. She was so interested in him. Everything he did, everytime he talked, she'd just stare and stare. She hardly chatted at all, just stared. And he was so helpful. She'd fuss and he'd go get one of her toys or her pacifier. He decided that she's a very cute baby.


Between the staring and her "stranger danger" sense, I wonder if she's not too sheltered. We have a huge family but she doesn't see everyone all the time. The only people she sees regularly are my parents and us-- me and Jimmy. She's fascinated by teeny people. Anytime she sees little kids she just stops doing whatever she's doing and stares. And anytime (lately) she's in the arms of an adult besides the four she knows she frowns, pauses, and then lets out a heartbreaking wail. I know she'll get over it but it's disconcerting sometimes, especially since there are so many people who are interested in her. As my aunt frequently says, "[Animalia] has brought so much joy to so many people." She can't keep bringing joy if she won't stop crying though. Poor baby.

Reassurance

I know I've written about the Animalia getting happy to see me during my lunch breaks but she's added a new thing to her excitement in the last few days. After she sees me and giggles and wiggles and stretches out her arms, after I have her in my arms, she touches both of my cheeks. It's almost as if she's checking to see that I'm really there.

Today, she's with her Da all day while I'm at work. She's driving him nuts and crying and crying. I don't think she's had a nap all day either. Can't wait to get home and get my face touched.

In other news:
We're getting the house ready for her first party. She's been to a few celebrations, but this one is all her own. It's in honor of her baptism. We're expecting 60 people or so. Exciting. Let's hope her new sense of stranger danger isn't completely overwhelmed.

we're terrible

Me: Is she awake?
Jimmy: Umm no. She's not awake. She's just sitting on my chest giggling while she's fast asleep.
Me: Wouldn't that be creepy?
Jimmy: What if I woke up and she was sitting on my chest...
Me: ...and her eyes were all white...
Jimmy: ...and she said Hi Da in a monster voice and then she sprouted fangs and ate my face?
Me: That would be so creepy.

Locomotion, part one of many parts I'm sure

She's been really wiggly and escape-y lately. She's only sitting up on her own for seconds at a time but she's started flipping herself onto her stomach and making great efforts to crawl. I thought we had some time on that but no.

On Saturday night, she was sitting on my lap, just holding onto my tshirt and she actually pulled herself to a standing position to get to her crazy singing stuffed puppy thing.

Yesterday, she pushed herself onto her stomach from my lap and started furiously dragging herself toward her soft blocks. This morning she did that too, only she's learning to use her head to drag herself along. It's pretty funny. Occasionally she manages to move herself a couple of inches forward and sometimes she actually moves backward instead. When she goes backward, she gets MAD.

In other news, her 4 month checkup went swimmingly. Actually, she was 18 weeks old, so 4 1/2 months. She's 15lbs 3oz (average) and 26 1/2 inches (long). Her head was 16 1/2 inches around so it's growing but she'll still be a pea head like me. Her shots weren't so bad. She cried right after and was sort of uncomfortable later but no major screaming like the first time. She spent the weekend being a little clingy though. Good job on us (and Nana) making sure she had Tylenol BEFORE the shots this time. Nobody gave us that hint til our miserable first vaccination weekend. Now we know.

So we make up songs

We do. We sing songs to the Animalia all the time. Most of the time the lyrics are horrible. This morning was "She's a monster who pees all over the place" sung as if it were a chorus in a rousing showtune number. A much nicer song is "Abu, abu, a little potato you. The ma-ma says let's sings a little song. The dad-dy says he'll learn to sing along. Abu, abu, a little potato you" etc. I typically only remember the best ones and the worst are just sung until I forget them. I sometimes wonder how our twisted sense of humor will affect the Animalia. I don't want her to be the kid who says "goddamn it" all the time but I don't know that it's so bad if she's the kid who sings random songs about her poop.

Anyhow, tangent complete, the monster who pees all over the place was a monster this morning. She just did not want to leave the house. Her diaper was a little loose this morning and it leaked all over our bed and soaked her sleeper. So I had to strip the bed down as quickly as possible so it didn't soak the mattress pad. And I had to strip the Animalia down too. AND then she started getting teary. So I fed her. It was just that kind of morning.

We got to my mom's house and she was so wiggly, she was trying to escape her nana's arms. And just as I was heading out the door she made a sound that really resembled "Adieu." No lie, my baby is a genius.

The Second Coming

Haha. Hilarious title. I want to tell the Animalia's birth story before time has erased my memory. It seems that something that significant couldn't be forgotten but it seems that time heals all wounds.

The end is in sight
The end of my pregnancy was pretty terrible. About a month before my due date I went on a week of bedrest due to fears of preeclampsia. My feet and legs were swollen to about twice their normal size. I was so sick. The swelling went down and I went back to work, only to cut back to part time a couple of weeks later. We were actually amazed that I made it that far since I had been having contractions for weeks. They were severe and sometimes about 5 minutes apart, teasing me into thinking it was finally time. But no. She made me wait. And wait. Then, a couple of weeks before my due date, my doctor decided I was measuring small for gestation and she started having me go to fetal monitoring. It was during one of these sessions that they measured the Animalia at over 8 lbs. Eight?! She's not even due for two more weeks. I hadn't been scared about giving birth til that point. My next appointment my doctor promised that if I went more than a week after my due date, she'd schedule an induction. Relief was in sight.

We're there!
I was still pregnant when the Chicago Cubs made it to the National League Division Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Jimmy lives and dies by their season, so he mostly dies a slow and painful death every year, only to recover and do it again the following year. He was hesitant about leaving me since I was so close to my due date and having contractions ALL THE TIME but I told him that he had to go or he would regret it, especially if the Cubs finally made it to the World Series. My dad bought tickets. They drove to Phoenix to watch the Cubs lose, drove back to Tucson that night, got in at 1am. Jimmy went to work that morning at about 5am. Came home, took a quick nap and they made the trip again. They watched the Cubs lose again. Drove back, got in at 1am. Jimmy fell into bed and fell asleep in seconds. My water broke at about 1:30am. I honestly thought that my pregnancy had finally made me incontinent. Yay. I rushed to the bathroom and noticed my contractions. I decided not to wake Jimmy up yet and thought I should take a shower. Contractions strong enough to make me double over. Oh god. I got out of the shower and put on some comfortable clothes.

I finally woke Jimmy up. We grabbed our stuff and jumped in the car. More contractions, about 5 minutes apart. About half way to the hospital I called my parents. It was the last call I'd make before my cell phone, already on it's last legs, would quit forever. Got to the hospital and was checked in immediately. I was already dilated 5cm. Active labor comes quickly when the water actually breaks on it's own. More severe contractions. Jimmy was asleep at this point, sitting in a chair next to me, holding my hand, his forhead on the bed next to me. After awhile, my parents showed up. More contractions, more dilation and they got me to a labor room. I was informed that my epidural wouldn't be til later. The anesthesiologist was in with a c-section patient. OK. I can handle this. So I did. I squeezed out tears when the contractions came, now 3 minutes apart but I was really truly fine in between. I called boymagnet, to tell her the news and could she send a text message to everyone to let them know I was in labor? I remember her being a little concerned when I asked her to hold on during a contraction. She thought it seemed like a long time. I called my brother and I think I spoke to siyeh too. Family filtered in and out of the room: Tía Lupita and Margo, Tía Margaret, Tío Tony and Caroline, Nino Roy, my parents back and forth, Virginia, Jimmy's mom, Andrea. Jimmy pretty much slept through all of that.

About halfway through my 10 hours of labor I got the epidural. Good thing too because the contractions were no picnic. I was more scared of the epidural than I was of childbirth. Jimmy sat in front of me and held my hands. It was really painful and on his first try I think he grazed a nerve because I felt this crazy pinching pain in my right hip. I still can't help but think that a little to the left (or right, whatever) and I'd have been crippled for life. Yeah, I'm dramatic. So after the epidural was nice. I was pretty dead from the waist down, a little loopy but good. I could hear a woman in a labor room next to me screaming. We all agreed, nurses, visitors and me, that with all the pain control options available it was insane for her to go through that. She screamed for around three hours. I actually started to get concerned with the epidural. Would I not be able to feel the baby come? Would I miss this important moment? Somewhere around 11 it was time to start pushing. I could feel it now. Really. Virginia and my mom woke Jimmy up. He went to the bathroom, they told him to hurry up, we could all here him through the bathroom door. I think he said either "SHIT!" or "Goddamn it!" Then everyone left the room, Jimmy took his place next to me and my mom acted like she was leaving and snuck back in. The nurse asked me if it was ok. This wasn't how it was supposed to be silly mama. I looked at her and back at the nurse. It's ok. My mom seemed happy. Then I really started pushing. I pushed for about 45 minutes, no screaming or swearing. Then the Animalia was there. They put her on top of me. I stared at her because I didn't know what to do or say. Jimmy cried. My mom couldn't stop smiling. Animalia was a little blue. They gave her oxygen right there on top of me and she turned pink. She was amazing. Dr. Tran finished sewing me up (yeah, gross) and said she knew the baby would come when she was good and ready. And then everyone started coming to see her.

She was really amazing. She had rosy cheeks and pink lips and just looked so formed, not like the wrinkled mousy newborn we expected. She had soft furry hair on her ears. Her hair was black like mine. Her eyes were dark blue, they've since changed to a lighter brown than mine but still have that blue in the background sometimes. Her eyelashes were, and are, amazing. Dark like mine but long and curled like her Da. I couldn't believe she was mine and sometimes I still feel that when I look at her.

She was born on October 5, one day before her due date and apparently the most popular birthday in the US. Nine months from New Year's. The hospital was packed and I got the very last private room available. I was lucky I went into labor when I did. Later there were lines of women waiting to get in.

We left the hospital one day later, healthy and happy.

Lunchtime

Almost every day, during my lunch hour, I take the 5 minute drive to my parents' house, where Animalia lives during the day. Typically I nurse her, eat something, maybe nurse her again and play a little.

Today, I walked in, she was half asleep in her Nana's arms and she kind of did this drunk baby lurch toward me. So I took her and she fell asleep almost immediately, her head nestled against my shoulder. A few minutes later, I put her in her moses basket. She slept for half an hour.

When she woke up, I was in another room. My mom picked her up and called me and I walked into the room. The Animalia immediately squealed and lurched toward me. She was so excited to see me. It was thrilling. Really. It all sounds so minor but it's nice to know that she knows me and in her tiny baby way, loves me. It's not the first time she did that either but today it made me feel especially good.

Love her, love her.

She'll tap dance on all our graves

What can I say? I insist on a stylish daughter even if I'm wearing sweats. No, that's not quite true. Having the Animalia has actually made me take more pride in my appearance, if only a little. I can't be the fatass mom with the crazy hair and the flip flops if my daughter is stylin'. So I try, if only a little more. So these are our favorite shoes right now. They're a size two. She's actually between sizes. The size twos are a little too big and the size ones, a little too small. I can't help but be glad we had a daughter so that I and her Nina boymagnet may pass on our mary jane obsession that we developed together but separately.

Last night was hilarious, mostly in retrospect. At the time it didn't feel hilarious because I was JUST SO TIRED. The Animalia didn't feel like going to sleep at bedtime. She wanted to chat. I put her in our bed, went to the bathroom, and when I got back she was doing this really loud "blah, blah, blah"-like thing to her Da's half sleeping face. I watched for awhile and he was sort of opening his eyes every couple of minutes and saying things like "yeah, that's interesting" but in this mumbly sleepy voice. And then I got into bed and chatted with her for a bit, nursed her and still no sleep. So I put her in her bassinet with her favorite musical Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal and just lay there, exhausted, and listened to her chat at full volume with him. Then she started laughing. Sometimes I wonder what it is about that particular toy that she loves so much. He's soft, sure, but so are lots of her toys. It plays a music box sounding version of Teddy Bear's Picnic. It's sort of a tan color, not like the vivid or shiny things that typically catch her attention. But damn, nothing makes her laugh like that.

I got the energy to get up and start rocking her. She was in serious play mode. It was a battle but somewhere around midnight she finally crashed. She must've been exhausted because she didn't even want to wake up when I got her dressed to go to her Nana and Papa Grande's house.

I love watching her when she's in sleepy mode. She'll open one eye and close it. Open the other eye and close it. If she manages to get both eyes open she'll just give me a pursed mouth, judgy look and I think, yeah, that's my daughter.

Mimicking her butt

I wrote about this yesterday. So I thought that her spitty raspberries were mimicking her farts. I mean, she farts a whole lot, and LOUD, and it just seemed logical since I'd hear her fart and then make the sound. Well, it turns out I was wrong. Last night, when I told her Da that the Animalia had stopped chatting for the most part and just making that sound over and over again, he just laughed and laughed. Apparently he's been making that sound at her for the last couple of weeks, over and over and over again. He was thrilled. She's finally mimicking him. Now of course he's saying "Da" to her over and over and over again. Damn. If he wins that first word contest, I swear!

I hope he takes it to heart though. He hasn't quit saying "God damn it, Cooper" to the dog and I'm really trying to get him to break that habit. In my twisted mind I think it'd be kind of cute for her to repeat that once or twice but I just know it's wrong to have the two-year-old who won't quit saying "God damn it!"